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Conflict's Consequences

Posted On - 16/03/2015 09:36:24
 

Competing Style: this is all about leveraging some form of ‘power' to pursue your concerns at the expense of the other personCompeting (Forcing) style

This is all about leveraging some form of ‘power' to pursue your concerns at the expense of the other person.

So it's more than just the pride of "I never/can't lose".  It's any approach used to add weight to your argument so you can prevail.

Using ‘what's right', a moral position, consciously using your authority, exaggerating your experience - these are all ways to compete.

See anything familiar?

Accommodating Style: the very opposite of competing, this is about you letting the other person winAccommodating style 

The very opposite of competing, this is about you letting the other person win.

This can be more than simply yielding because the issue is far more important to the other person than you, it can include self-sacrifice.

So as well as simply letting the other person have their way for whatever reason it could mean you end up doing things you'd genuinely prefer not to.

Guilty as charged?

Avoiding Style: is about ignoring or dodging conflictAvoiding style

This is about ignoring or dodging conflict.

It could be simply recognising things are out of your control. It could also be tactical behaviour to prevent a real blow-up. And it could be the simple ‘fear' of conflict and doing anything – sidestepping, delaying even withdrawing – to evade things.

Been acting dodgy lately?

Collaborating Style: about working with the other person to meet both your goalsCollaborating style

The opposite of avoiding, this is about working with the other person to meet both your goals.

Collaborating requires taking the time and making the effort to dig into an issue and explore the options. So while it may sound like ‘the right answer' it's not always appropriate.

But that's not the issue – what is, is whether you try and behave like this most of the time?

Compromising Style: finding expedient mutually agreeable solutionsCompromising style

This is the middle style. The one that splits the difference. The one that finds expedient mutually agreeable solutions.

So if Collaborating isn't the best style is Compromising? Not necessarily – the clue's in the title.

Compromising means doing a deal, striking a bargain, coming to an arrangement. It's all about "I can live with that".

And that could be far from ideal.

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